Chapter 41

Kaizen

You'd think as one who can cause ashes with my bites that I'd like this. I'd had Hell's rations before. They had cows and everything down here. The apple pie tasted so bad that I had to think of the torment grandfather planned to get it down.

It tasted like burned sugar, tar, and feet.? There was definitely some kind of funky foot odor

"What's this *texture* ?" I asked nicely, being elbowed by grandfather.

"I thought if I added some gelatin that it would set better." She beamed. "I boiled the hooves myself."

"How ambitious." I said forking it.

"My dear my sweet butterfly. You've *outdone* yourself." He said 'proudly'

"Really?!" She asked. Admittedly she really did remind me of an excited she wolf. "I'm sorry I burned it a little." She hugged his neck, which I can't lie if Willow had such cooking skills. I'd not have the heart either.

"You don't like it?" She asked, already about to well up with tears.

"No! I *Love* it." I took a bite, but this time it tasted like pie. "It's really good."

"Phew I thought I completely ruined it." She beamed, hugging grandfather's neck, and he mouthed a death threat while her face was buried in his embrace.

"You're welcome. If she shed a Single tear, I would have made your measly decades Eons." He said this without sound I just understood by lip reading

"My dearest, my love is there anything you wish to do today?" He asked holding both her hands While her back was turned, it was all piled on my plate "My grandson how hungry you are!" He beamed.

"Mmm." I mumbled. He'd made it taste good but I knew better I'm probably going to be sick later.

"I want to watch your people with you again It was nice." She said sheepishly.

"The universe is my spyglass Anything or anyone, I may grant you vision." He said kissing her left hand.

"And I want to spend time with Kaizen." She said putting her hands on his cheeks.

He growled.

" I won't be taken again." She said confidently. For her to say that, it had to be a worry of his.

"I only allowed such nonsense Once." He said pressing his forehead to hers. "I will be watching." Those words were ominous, changing the clear sky to an overcast one that held black clouds

They shared this moment as if they argued about this Had they argued over us? I felt too small to ask. It was a strange sensation Omegas and mortals must feel this way.

It went away as soon as it came. Weird.

"Come little one." She said taking my hand, and we became a beam of white moonlight Her magic may be the Sun's reflection, yet her abilities were her own unique power.

We shot straight into the air, and the streaks of red light that we passed became sky blue as did the weight of Tarteron and this crushing feeling That strange, brief moment of understanding the unobtainable difference between a mortal and the Horned One was gone

"Where are we going?" I asked in curiosity, and also to have .

"Urth." She said simply.

Before I could ask anything else, we were at my old pack.

The pups were running and playing while father was visiting

Santos was Beta, while Adam remained Gamma And Father took OpalMoon.

"Alpha, thank you again for coming." Said Adam, running his hands through his greyish brown hair. He had grown pups now and thankfully I didn't kill anyone from the Salms family.

Adam was older than us by about a decade and a half, being a close family friend. He was the son of my father's lead Beta, Zack. When he took over the state, he allowed each Beta who kneeled to him to live.

Usually when packs change Alphas, some of the leadership does as well. Santos for example was the original Beta of OpalMoon before me and Tyson were given the reigns.

"Where's everyone?" He asked, walking with Adam to the backyard.

His father was there with Libby, Adam's little sister. She was mute from being attacked by Rogues when she was small. I remember growing up and playing with her nearly every day, pretty much my entire life

"What is this?" I asked.

"Just watch." She smiled.

I blinked and we were inside the living room, while all the families of the wolves I'd slain were gathered around, all finding some random place or another to sit. They bowed to my father, their Alpha, worried for how disappointed and disgruntled he looked

I swear for a second, he looked right at us, but be cleared his throat.

"The bodies have been buried and now comes the hard part." He said seeing them sniffle here and there.

"They burn in hell." Said one woman. "My mate was as loyal as they come, and he burns."

"No. Only Sinners burn." He said as she wiped her eyes. It looked like it took everything she had not to break down right there "I know all of you hurt That what my son has done-"

"Sir with all due respect, may I speak?" Asked a Warrior, bowing as respectfully as he could. I knew him... Warrior Ludvik He had alternating shifts with his mate He was a squad leader, while his mate preferred pack patrol, being the smaller of the two.

There was an initial shock that came with him being so bold, but my father let him. He nodded his head as a king would, and Warrior Ludvik stood. He was about 6'5, an Alpha's height, holding his head high.

"I wasn't there at first but I know Beta. He wasn't in his right mind. I Saw him. He was a Good wolf."

"He was a dirty liar!" Yelled Warrior McRaven. "He Promised he'd protect us, but who could protect Clementine!"

"Lord Kaizen Was Protecting His Mate! I Saw it myself! If everyone would have left him the Fuck Alone, he wouldn't have gone bat-shit crazy!" Warrior Ludvic snarled at the top of his lungs.

"That's enough." Said father.

"Sir it Isn't. I don't want anybody remembering him like he's some gods damn villain who snapped like a wild animal. Like he needs to be put down." Warrior Ludvic glared at the only wolf who'd likely combat him, and he did.

"You only feel like this because your mate's alive!" Shouted Warrior Gathry. They'd always had opposing opinions on everything..

"That's real low Gathry real low." Snarled Ludvic.

"Sorry I didn't I didn't mean it like that." He turned and left, while Ludvic ran clawed hands through his hair.

He took a sharp inhale. "Beta is STILL a good man Rachel asked me to forgive him. I forgive him. If they would have left him to run instead of Try to Fight a Literal Demigod, all of them would be alive. Beta would have run off or something and regained his senses later. Every single one of us knows what that sensation feels like you'd do Anything for your mate." Ludvic left, bowing to father on the way out.

"Go be with your mate." Father mumbled, permitting Warrior Ludvic leave. I must have put Racheal on life support.

Why was I seeing this?

"Alpha. We still swear to you." Said the woman from before. "I remember Alpha Opal and the Ship Wreck he was you literally changed our lives for the better. I can't see myself leaving, risking my life, and disgracing what Terry worked for.I won't find anywhere better. And I do forgive Beta but I humbly request to retire." She said like a Warrior, holding her tears.

"I'll allow it." He said firmly. "I won't stop any of you. It is your right. When I was young, I killed many a wolf, but none were pack. That's a different pain. I know he's out there lamenting what he's done. If any of you need me, I will be upstairs until further notice." He said firmly.

They all stayed downstairs. They consoled each other, and when mother arrived, they helped take her bags up.

They all talked about good times with their mates, and how they missed them. They talked about me as if I were dead too it was weird But it seemed like they and their wolves heeded Ludvic That it was easier to keep the lives they had, and forgive, and move on.

I knew by watching myself that no one made them, nor influenced them with bewitching. Of course some left anyway, but the majority agreed among themselves that being in such a large, safe pack letting their pups go to good schools and making peace was the better option.

They had every right to hate me, but hearing them. It made me feel worse. I could feel that part of me that instinctual piece rear its ugly head. I held my chest, feeling the shame of my crime lash me harder than any real whip.

"You asked me not to take your nature. That you wish to control it. This will help you. I know it may sting to see them so upset, but know that this is the past. Eventually, they will all be returned to their mates, and live with them in Tarteron. since they all swore to Bryson. They hurt now but they will not hurt forever." Grandmother's voice was so sweet.

"Thank you. I needed to see this." I said smiling softly. I felt peace

"I must leave you now." She said softly, but I didn't want to go back I didn't want to keep confronting the consequences of my actions But I also felt like I was Close.

She returned me to the Layer of Murder. I was given no respite. But with this newfound understanding, I felt like I could finish my penance.